We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
