ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
