he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
