You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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