It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
