i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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