We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
