i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
