My hair reeks of homosexuality.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
