you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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