Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
