Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
