If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
