is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
