she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
