i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
