Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
