so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
