in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
