we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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