it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Your dad touched me again.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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