I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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