just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
