my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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