Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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