he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
