I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i will never coherently bang her
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
