How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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