i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
