I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
