This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
