The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Holy shit dude........stairs
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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