Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We left the knife in your bed.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
