put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize