She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
