ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
