All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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