life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
