hell yes lets make some ravioli
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
