That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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