Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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