Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
