Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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