Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just want nice things and good sex
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
