carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize