I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
