I think I am morally bankrupt
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
