How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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