I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
