how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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