Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Farmville is her only friend.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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