So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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