She said her name was "party"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
