I heard we made out
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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