I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
