marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i would one night stand the shit outta him
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Randomize