PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
