ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Randomize
