it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Drunk is not a location!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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